My mom used to get troubled if I referred to myself as “fat.” She always said we should use a nicer word, like “round.” Funny part about that is … I am round. Overweight people are described with many interesting terms, including shapes. But I do have a generally round appearance. I carry my weight in the front – same width from front or side. I think I started using “fat” to eliminate the possibility of someone else using it. As though if I said it first, it wouldn’t seem so bad.
But the truth is, being described as “fat” is hurtful. Period. The looks up and down, or blatant stares. Several years ago I was at the Walmart in Laramie. The checkout lines were quite long (no self-check yet). When I got to the cashier, she was having problems with her register. She was halfway through my order and couldn’t get anything to work. Everyone was getting impatient. There was a woman behind me in line – interesting spray of blonde braids popping from the top of her head and a squalling child in her basket – she was on her phone. She said, loudly, “I will, if this fat lady ahead of me will ever get done.” I turned toward her, and with all the “Mrs. Steele” (choir student reference) I have in me, I lectured her. I spoke about kindness and respect, name calling, passive bullying … I went on and on, gathered a bit of a crowd, and finished with her sputtering an apology. I finished my order, went to my car … and cried.