Log: Day 22
Feeling: a little disappointed
It’s the weigh-in day. Sigh. Only down .8 lbs. Not a good week. My lesson for this week? Too many meals out. Delicious though they may be, it is not the path to weight loss. I guess any loss is better than a gain, but still not a happy day. Remember the goal … 2 lbs each week …
Familiar with the term “falling off the wagon?” Used when people are trying to do something like quit drinking, or stop smoking, or in my case lose weight – and they fail. This may imply one instance of failure, or a complete meltdown. But the fact is, the only time a person ever “falls off the wagon” is when they’re on one – and that’s a good thing! I think anyone who is trying to lose weight has rules or beliefs about food that determine how they feel about themselves. “I was so good with my diet yesterday, but today, not so much.” Probably sounds familiar to anyone who has been on a diet. When I go to my “not so much” place in a big way, I do “fall off the wagon.” A full bag of Doritos type of fall! But in my diet realm, the falls are shorter – and sometimes less easy to recognize until I’ve passed the point of no return. Example? Too many little “add-ons,” when I say to myself, “it’s only ONE cookie,” or “a few extra won’t hurt.”
This is the crux of my love-hate relationship with food. So, I want to make peace with food. I want to stop shame-eating cookies or chips. I ask myself, what’s causing this? Why am I judging myself with food? The “not okay” line is not imaginary in my diet plan. It’s pretty clear what I’m supposed to eat and what I’m not. I guess I’m feeling disappointed today, and that’s hard to balance out with the positives. I promised I’ll stay the course and look to the positive outcomes. But in the day-to-day, that’s easier said than done, because as long as there’s a wagon to fall off of, I know I WILL fall off occasionally. So really, “falling off” is not my problem. The wagon is my problem.