I have to simply admit that I have fallen off the diet wagon. I didn’t actually turn to piles of candies, or cookies, or other culprit carbs that I’d promised to give up. I got sick. And then a little pathetic. And then felt sorry for myself. And then became flatly unmotivated. WAIT … WHAT?!?! Yes, my motivation took a serious dip. So I’m angry at myself for being so weak and caving into stupid cravings and “easy” eating, all while feeling junky and not exercising. Really bad curve in my story. But the ending? Yet to be written.
I’m not into failing at this. So I’m trying to determine how to best move forward. What kept me so highly motivated at the start? And what will it take to succeed now? Guilt has kept me from blogging recently. It’s not very encouraging to write about how you’re doing a crappy job at the thing you’re supposed to be blogging about. But from the start, I did say that I owed it to myself to be honest – good or bad. So … here I am.
You’ll note I didn’t attach a “day” to my blog title. I’ve gotten so far off track I decided a more highly motivating if I noted how many days until we travel. Given the time-frame, I think I can still get another major chunk of excess pounds off – at least that’s the plan. So it’s 220 days and counting.
In thinking about moving forward …
First, even though I ate some “no-no” foods and ignored my good intentions, now is not the time to beat up on myself. Instead, I’m going to shower myself with compassion. I graciously accept the reality that I screwed up, and am ready to move on. I accept that I’m human. I had some expectation of perfection when I started, and that’s simply not possible. In fact, planning for perfection paves the way for a big letdown. So, now that I’ve “fallen,” I’m going to use this as an opportunity to accept and welcome the fact that I’m human. Admitting it is quite freeing.
I’m also going to be grateful for my failure. Probably sounds counter-intuitive, but I’m going to be glad for the slip, the extra calories, the off-healthy food choices. Because now I can appreciate that I behaved in a direction opposite my goal and it’s a good teaching moment. (Hmmm … do I know anything about those?) Perhaps this can be the impetus I needed to finally stay on my plan and lick the bad habits that sneak back in. It’s time to get going with gusto. Time to slip on those sneakers (metaphorically and in reality) so I can begin again. After all, wasn’t I more excited, impassioned, and committed when I began the journey?
Now that I’ve accepted my human failure and thanked my failure for waking me up, it’s time to think about what I really want – I mean REALLY want. In other words, do I really, really, really want to be full of energy, thinner, happier, and healthier? Yes I do. I’m proclaiming my freedom – now that I’m getting back on track, I’m going to declare my affirmation and repeat it over and over all day long. I can clean your house while I repeat my mantra. There is power and effectiveness in affirmations … I’m a believer!
Back to the plan … we all know when starting a healthy diet or a new way of eating, it’s wise to figure out in advance what, when, and where you’ll eat. And starting over is a little like just starting. I have the right foods. I have it in writing. As I begin anew, I remind myself why I’m doing this – to live a happier, healthier, more meaningful life.
That’s it.