Do you remember your childhood? Home movies of a happy little you, smiling and laughing, and eating birthday cake with icing covering your face? That was before you were chastised for the food you put in your mouth; before you knew that some foods were ‘fattening’ or that you had to look a certain way to be ‘accepted.’
Researchers suggest that somewhere between the ages of 2 and 5 we lose our ability to eat healthily and naturally on our own. Up until then, we listen to our bodies telling us what we need for nourishment. Then, somehow we transform into enviro-eaters. We learn other eating prompts – social occasions (parties, family gatherings), emotions (comfort eating), and sensory responses (the smell of popcorn or a bakery). Over time, we learn to ignore hunger cues and pay more attention to the external cues. I read that 30-50% of adults engage in ‘mindless’ eating on a regular basis, making you twice as likely to be overweight.
After my workout at the pool today, I was chatting with a couple of regulars. One of them was telling a story about his granddaughter, and he said, “She was a really big girl, like you.” We had been talking about weight issues, and I know he didn’t mean anything unkind by it. But it gave me a little zinger – the embarrassment of knowing that’s how they see me – the fat lady in the room.
As a younger, thinner me, I think I naturally enjoyed healthy foods. I also enjoyed running and good work out at the gym. I had times when I got a little rounded, but I never agonized about food. I’ve never been a careful eater – paying attention to every bit of food I put in my body. In fact, I’ve never really been nutrition conscious, never carefully analyzed food labels for ingredients, fat grams, calories, carbs – at least not like I do now!
I gained the majority of the last 100 pounds in the past 25 years. I’ve started to feel like a professional dieter. Every diet ‘expert’ chastises dieters who make eating choices based on losing weight not health. I think it’s just really important to maintain a healthy relationship with food. Saying there are some foods that you just can’t have makes you want that those foods even more – okay, it makes ME want them even more. Mindless eating is actually fueled by the diet=restriction attitude. My diet is pretty filling, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting those no-no foods. It’s a challenge
And that’s the next important concept, honoring your hunger and fullness signals. When you’re trying to eat healthy and calorie control, you really have to relearn what it feels like when you’re hungry or when you’re full. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I’m making friends with food. I’m looking at it this way – there are no ‘bad’ foods, there are simply foods not on the ‘menu’ today. Think of it as a restaurant that doesn’t serve that item. It doesn’t mean I’ll never get to have that choice, just not today.
I must challenge myself to really be aware of my body – if I’m hungry, eat’ if I’m full, stop. I’m still struggling with the enjoyment of my food. Taking time to taste it, savoring every bite. Giving my body the opportunity to recognize that it’s full. And I also still struggle with comfort eating – food is my friend, but not the solution to my bad days. This habit is pretty firmly entrenched. There’s no question that I don’t feel good about myself – and I don’t think anyone can blame me. Researchers suggest, however, that dieters who are comfortable with their fat selves have greater success than those who do not. Don’t know what to say about that.
And finally, I’m trying really hard to honor my health – I’m following my doctors recommendations; I’m doing my own research on my health problems and how to maintain optimal health. Everyone has an opinion about what I ‘should’ be doing. Exercise is kind of a loaded word, but I’m trying to get adequate movement – I like to think of it as getting my body moving every day.
(sorry, this blog was a little meandering)